What constitutes a time-out in the summer?

Yesterday, it meant getting up at 5:40 am and bombing into downtown Boston to my Writer’s Co-op to work12 hours straight on my novel.

Today I’m up at 6am to get a couple of hours of work done before the kids wake up.

This from a woman who could not open her eyes before 11am B.K. (Before-Kids).

In the summertime the hours of the day are not my own. Suddenly, from comfortable 8-hour workdays during the school year, I have to cut back significantly and do a lot of work at unusual times. Early mornings when the mist is still hanging thick and soupy over everything, at night when the cool air keeps me awake and at weekends, when my husband takes over.

And while, in a way, it’s frustrating not being able to work as I usually do, it’s also a gift. Spending unstructured time with my kids is ALWAYS rewarding. Giving up on being efficient (and not feeling guilty about it!) just feels good.

So… be inefficient, be lazy, parse your time well and you will get a little it of everything this summer. And you’ll enjoy it too!

Writing is a funny business. What is work? What is day dreaming? What is wasting time? What counts and what doesn’t count?

Many of you reading this who are in the creative field will know exactly where I’m coming from. When your hubby or a friend asks, “So, what did you do today?” and you answer (maybe just a touch defensively…), “Well, I worked,” sometimes it’s not really the kind of work they’re thinking of.

I watched a Fassbinder movie, so shoot me! I mean, well, um, for me that’s actually work. I went to a bookstore and checked out books about teens. Again, real work. So, I watched TV, work! HARD WORK!

I’m only half kidding here. Inspiration comes from the strangest places and at the strangest times.

While I was away with the kids in Germany, I was all theirs. I didn’t take my laptop, I didn’t answer (or even check) e-mail and I took no business calls. “Work” was on hold. I listened to them, spent every waking hour with them, had fun with them and also hung out doing nothing.

But that stretch of ten days was incredibly rewarding for me in terms of work. I had ideas for three new books, which I am so excited about. I carried around a little notebook with me in which I jotted everything down. I planned a new workshop I want to run in the fall, a non-fiction book project I’m going to start, and I figured out my next novel! I even started day-dreaming about a writing book I’m going to work on once I get famous. Dream big, I say…

So taking a little time to relax actually proved to be very fruitful professionally. And my kids got a happy mom to boot. Talk about killing two birds with one stone!

Yesterday was a very difficult day. I got some bad news about one of my children, and I sat in the office of her school and cried like a ten year old.

I couldn’t help thinking about the irony of publishing this book for moms — about how important it is for us to take our own needs seriously — and then be faced with a crisis that will require years and years of research and advocacy for my littlest. We all face hurdles, some big and some small, in this journey through parenthood. So what do the bigger hurdles teach us?

When our children struggle, they need our attention and our energy more than ever. Where do we find the time and will to put in all this “extra” work when our days are already absolutley crammed full?

How do we do it? It’s not magic: we just do it. We make it happen. We fit it in. Something else gives, but we make it work. And of course, this is where it REALLY helps if — as individuals, as women not moms – we feel strong. I know that the incredible happiness I get from my work and my art, and the small time-outs I take for myself as often as I can, will help me face this challenge with positivity and energy.

We’ve now had our official “launch” and we’re all set to blast through space and aim for the moon!

This Saturday we held our book launch party. There were about 150 people celebrating with us, all smiles and full of great energy. We had some killer music (including my favorite, Brazilian Girls), lots of candles, strong drinks (of which I partook liberally) and of course, beer and tasty tidbits to munch on.

It was the first time in many, many, many months that Susan, Anne and I took a break from working on the book to celebrate our achievements. It felt wonderful. We are so busy so much of the time, it is a treat to stop and say, wow. Just: wow, here we are!

This party marked the end of one long phase of this project and the beginning of another. Now we are busy with marketing, and we’re learning new things every day. That’s what keeps you stoked… learning and growing.

Radio, TV and print: we’ve already dipped our un-manicured winter feet in all of them, with more to come. The book has had a fantastic reception so far, with lots of media people interested in hearing our story. It’s such a blast to talk about the book. Get us started and we can’t stop. We should open the Ministry of Guilt-free Mothering... we are on a mission. We honestly feel that this book could help so many stressed-out moms out there–without talking down to them, wagging fingers, or giving them ten thousand more things to do. We want moms to feel empowered and in control. We want to make a difference to people.

But a huge part of the evening was about thanking others. Our families for putting up with us talking incessantly, year after year, about this project. Our friends for helping us with advice, contacts, encouragement. Our colleagues for believing in us and helping make this a reality.

The three of us stumbled out of there late, feet killing us, and lurked around the parking lot saying goodbye. Now that’s off our to-do list. Next week, we launch right back into the next phase: local television; Martha Stewart Radio in New York; a newspaper article, our first book signing; and the beat goes on.

Thanks to all of you for joining us on the journey, and being cheerleaders all the way! We could not have done it without you.

There is nothing better in the world than being a writer. It is challenging, creative, intense and fun. When I’m in the throes of work I love, I am so deep in the zone there is nothing else in the world that I want to do (except kiss Svenja who is just irresistable).

But sometimes, the writer’s life makes me feel blue. Why? Because we put so many hours into our work, and so many of those words fall by the wayside. The hours and hours and hours of intensity feel great when you’re in them, and then not so great when they go nowhere.

See, that’s the thing about writing: it takes a lot of going nowhere to get somewhere!

I see a strong parallel to mothering. It’s many hours of work, with a huge upside, but sometimes it just feels like you’re throwing yourself heart and soul into something and you can’t count on the outcome you want. It’s hard to give so much energy to something when the results aren’t guaranteed.

That’s why enjoying the moment is so key. If you can enjoy the process — the sitting at the keyboard, the chatting with your child — then every moment has value in it… and it’s not just about the end result.