Comments on: Babies and Bigshots http://www.momstimeouts.com/2008/09/15/babies-and-bigshots It's Good to Be a Little Selfish—It Actually Makes You a Better Mother Mon, 15 Mar 2010 11:04:15 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.3.3 By: N http://www.momstimeouts.com/2008/09/15/babies-and-bigshots#comment-1078 N Mon, 15 Sep 2008 14:21:26 +0000 http://www.momstimeouts.com/2008/09/15/babies-and-bigshots#comment-1078 I think ideally, for the first year or so a mother should be there to breastfeed. I don't see it as shackling a woman, I see it as her performing a valuable service that only she can. If our society valued this, women would not feel it was oppressive. They would feel as special as anyone else who does a very valuable job that others cannot do. We need to honor that level of committment to children, if we want the best for them. After that, our society needs to stop acting as if women are the only ones who parent. No one asks how men can manage parenthood and a career because we all know that men, traditionally, have not had parenting as a job. Men should take over and do at least 50% of the parenting so each parent has 1.5 jobs, rather than a 1-2 split. Yeah, they'd have to make some career sacrifices just like we do. AND THAT to me is one reason for the refusal of many men to see parenting a a job, they would have to face that they are working women to DEATH. My husband is 45, my brothers and their friends 30 or so;there is definitely a generation gap! My brother and his friends and many of my peers are fulltime parents, some of them are the primary caretakers and it doesn't occur to them at all that being a man means they should do less work. And THEY too deserve respect and consideration for the job that they do! But yes, to each her own! I respect everyone's right to do what is right for her and her family. Even if she WANTS to be barefoot and pregnant. I think ideally, for the first year or so a mother should be there to breastfeed. I don’t see it as shackling a woman, I see it as her performing a valuable service that only she can. If our society valued this, women would not feel it was oppressive. They would feel as special as anyone else who does a very valuable job that others cannot do. We need to honor that level of committment to children, if we want the best for them.

After that, our society needs to stop acting as if women are the only ones who parent. No one asks how men can manage parenthood and a career because we all know that men, traditionally, have not had parenting as a job. Men should take over and do at least 50% of the parenting so each parent has 1.5 jobs, rather than a 1-2 split. Yeah, they’d have to make some career sacrifices just like we do.

AND THAT to me is one reason for the refusal of many men to see parenting a a job, they would have to face that they are working women to DEATH.

My husband is 45, my brothers and their friends 30 or so;there is definitely a generation gap! My brother and his friends and many of my peers are fulltime parents, some of them are the primary caretakers and it doesn’t occur to them at all that being a man means they should do less work. And THEY too deserve respect and consideration for the job that they do!

But yes, to each her own! I respect everyone’s right to do what is right for her and her family. Even if she WANTS to be barefoot and pregnant.

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