Babies and Bigshots
I came across this post on Sarah Palin today and read it eagerly. I am still trying to figure out my conflicted emotions about a woman with such very young children taking on so very much in her life.
Women who work outside the home do not parent full-time–that’s their choice and one that is often good for both mother and family. I have been working full time for years, and it’s what makes me happy (and a much better mother). Contrary to what many pundits argue, I don’t buy that it’s always ideal to have a full-time parent at home… I believe it depends on the individual family.
BUT… this is a valid argument:
“It (parenting) is a JOB. And it is unfair to women to speak of it as if it were not a job. When we speak of being a parent as if it were something we are and not something we DO, we do a disservice to all parents.”
The core of what is being discussed here is the level of self sacrifice a woman can be expected to give her “boss” (in Palin’s case, the Unites States itself), while also fulfilling her elemental role as a nurturer for her infant.
Again, my conclusion is the same: it’s each to her own. I just hope that as we continue to grow and learn from these discussions, women end up feeling freer to make their own decisions, without all the guilt and second-guessing. After all, our husbands have stepped up to the plate big time (have you seen Mad Men recently?!), and although they’re not perfect, neither are we. Maybe in the future we’ll find a way to have them take over the breastfeeding…
September 15th, 2008 at 9:21 am
I think ideally, for the first year or so a mother should be there to breastfeed. I don’t see it as shackling a woman, I see it as her performing a valuable service that only she can. If our society valued this, women would not feel it was oppressive. They would feel as special as anyone else who does a very valuable job that others cannot do. We need to honor that level of committment to children, if we want the best for them.
After that, our society needs to stop acting as if women are the only ones who parent. No one asks how men can manage parenthood and a career because we all know that men, traditionally, have not had parenting as a job. Men should take over and do at least 50% of the parenting so each parent has 1.5 jobs, rather than a 1-2 split. Yeah, they’d have to make some career sacrifices just like we do.
AND THAT to me is one reason for the refusal of many men to see parenting a a job, they would have to face that they are working women to DEATH.
My husband is 45, my brothers and their friends 30 or so;there is definitely a generation gap! My brother and his friends and many of my peers are fulltime parents, some of them are the primary caretakers and it doesn’t occur to them at all that being a man means they should do less work. And THEY too deserve respect and consideration for the job that they do!
But yes, to each her own! I respect everyone’s right to do what is right for her and her family. Even if she WANTS to be barefoot and pregnant.