Each to Her Own
I’ve been talking non stop about Palin with friends and on the internet.
Many mothers insist that she does not make them feel in any way inadequate, they just hate her politics. Or, if they love her politics, they think it’s cool that she can be a role model to other women.
I’m just not sure about the role model part.
In the book, The Mommy Myth: The Idealization of Motherhood and How It Undermines All Women, Meredith Michaels says, “The new momism both draws from and repudiates feminism.” So true!
I believe in a woman’s right to make choices in her own life, and to do what’s best for herself and her family. Palin obviously has her act together, and doesn’t seem to struggle with the need for downtime or calm (but who knows…). So her choices are right for her. She can have five kids and manage a really major job. That’s not for everyone.
So I think having young girls grow up and seeing a woman like Palin as the gold standard is not really the all that evolved or positive. If a woman decides to have just a couple of kids and stay home, does that then make her inferior, unable to live up to her potential? I’m just not sure every woman’s goal needs to be having a truckload of kids AND taking on the world of business or politics.
For the women who are suited to that lifestyle — and there are many — well, that’s truly admirable. But I say let’s remember there’s no one standard, no perfect role model for modern mothers.
It’s each to her own. Let’s revel in whatever choices we make, and not be led astray by the belief that to be “successful” we have to do it all.
September 12th, 2008 at 3:44 pm
I can’t believe women are still so snarky about the choices other women make. Haven’t we moved beyond all that judgmental shit yet?! I couldn’t agree more that moms just need to get a life, and make their own decisions and then feel good about them.
September 12th, 2008 at 3:52 pm
I don’t think it’s about mothers being “snarky” at all. I think it’s that little girls are told so many different things as they grow up — they should be this or that but not, God forbid, THIS — and when they’re faced with real life as moms and adults they realize how complicated it is to juggle everything. I just wish the workload between men and women were more equitable. Moms still do so much of the grunt work at home and then they’re expected to be professional on top of it.
Wouldn’t it be nice if we had already reached that stage where men and women share more equally in ALL the responsibilities of running a family??
September 14th, 2008 at 4:17 pm
I didn’t love that book the Mommy Myth, I thought it was depressing. So much of it was true, but I wanted some answers or at least some suggestions as to what we could all do to stop making our lives so crazy.