Glass Half Empty
A month ago, back in late June, my son Peter started moaning, “Summer’s almost OVER already!”
I felt his pain. Here in the Northeast, those of us who hate frigid winters spent indoors (peeling off our dry skin and shivering in the drafts of hundred-year-old houses) live for the summer. We relish every hot second of it. Who cares about humidity? At least we’re not wrapped in ten-foot-long scarves and wearing those horrendous things on our feet called Uggs (this from someone who does not like looking like a androgynous dwarf).
It’s almost the end of July and I’m starting to have that same sinking feeling in my stomach… hmmmm, do the kids need new backpacks? Hmmm, what was that reading assignment Greta had? Hmmm, am I gonna make it into carpool this year or will I be stuck on my own again?
It all is very gloomy: the end of summer looms.
Back when Peter was lamenting the passing days, I really felt sorry for him. The poor kid couldn’t even begin to enjoy his free time because he was so very aware of how limited it would be. You can’t find much peace in the moment if you’re always looking ahead to the future.
It’s the typical glass-half-empty conundrum. Kids and adults alike make their lives soooo much easier if they can only have a glass-half-full attitude. A young colleague of my husband’s, a beautiful girl named Lexia, died a few weeks ago of leukemia. Every time I saw her she was full of beans, excited about her prospects for recovery. She was such a happy soul. I often wondered whether I would be able to react that way in her situation. What a blessing for her — and those who loved her — that she was a glass-half-full girl.
So even as I see fall just around the corner (and all those errands and carpools and searching for lost but absolutely crucial items), I want to sink into the everyday and enjoy the moment I’m in. I don’t want to either dread or look forward to fall, I want to savor now. Because this is it, this is life. Who knows what will happen in one, two, three months.
If there’s one single lesson I would like to teach Peter, it’s to give up worrying about things you can’t control and to let yourself focus with energy and positivity on just where you are at any given moment.
Tags: carpool, fall, living in the moment, positivity, summer
July 24th, 2008 at 4:55 pm
There is truly no greater gift in life than being able to think positively. We poison ourselves with our own bad thoughts! I feel sorry for your son, too. Imagine when he faces real trauma, how hard that will be. I wonder if your attitude can rub off on him. I’d work real hard to get him to look at life with a more optimistic attitude!
July 27th, 2008 at 6:45 pm
I am kind of pessimistic and I find it really does make life harder. Is there a way to train yourself to be more of an optimist?
July 28th, 2008 at 7:48 am
Yes, you can! We talk about this a lot in our book, because we learned through all our discussions with moms that the power of positive thinking is not to be underestimated!
- change your self talk: become more conscious of what words are going through your mind. Make a decision to use more positive vocabulary!
- when something upsets the flow and you are caught off guard, pause for a moment. Try to think of one single advantage the new situation might offer up
- try the mantra “You do the best you can.” I find this works when I am gripped with frustration about something and feeling pessimistic about my chances of regaining control.
- affirmations work wonders: make signs to hang above your computer. Put together a dream collage. Say to yourself in the mirror every morning how great life is. Sounds hokey but it works!
- smile a lot, even if you don’t really mean it.
- read a positive quote from someone you admire each morning or evening (our book is filled with them!)
For more solutions, check out the many anecdotes on our book — moms came up with really great tips everyone can use!