Children and Chores
We got the following anecdote from Maureen (who was answering one of our questionnaires for the book) and it set off all sorts of familiar alarm bells ringing in our selfish little ears:
I just asked my two daughters to empty the dishwasher and I got the following two responses:
1. “I did it the last time a kid did it!”
2. “I just finished finals and I can’t do anything else…!”
(I ended up sharing the chore with the one who had just had finals.)
I also have two boys and their attitude about household chores is, well, rather male! I am wondering if I/we are raising a generation of spoiled kids who don’t even know how to do laundry when they get into college… do we let them off the hook too much just to avoid conflict? I know I do; it’s the path of least resistance.
Oh boy… children and chores… oil and water. We all know kids should be learning to participate in the family, but getting them to help in a meaningful way TAKES SO MUCH WORK!!!!!!! Do we have time for that? Is it really so important? What do you think?
Is it possible that if mothers were more selfish, kids would have to buck up and do some of the grunt work themselves?!
Tags: BUddha
September 20th, 2007 at 2:34 pm
I sometimes feel like I’m parenting in the dark ages, because of the amount of chores that I expect my children to help with in running our household, compared to other families. I have four children, ages 10 months to 10 years, and aside from the baby, they all have chores. When I talk with other moms, even moms with multiple children like myself, it’s obvious that my family is the anomaly. I find such comfort when I find other families who expect their children to help with chores, so I appreciate your post and bringing this subject up for dialogue.
I look at chores and household management as everyone’s responsibilty. Who ever said that being a mother implied taking on all of this work, solo? My children fuss and moan regularly about chores, but, honestly, so do I sometimes: there are many nights when I groan about cooking another meal. I keep reminding my children that it’s important that everyone pitches in and share the work, just as well all share the fun and the rewards. I also remind them that they don’t have to like their chores, although accepting them makes for an easier time, for their own sake.
I want to raise children who can not only think for themselves, but also take care of themselves. And even if they leave home and have a cleaning service and other household support, which I believe is perfectly acceptable, it’s still important to know how to do things yourself.