From Perfect Girls… to Perfect Mothers?
The front page article in the New York Sunday Times yesterday was, “For Girls, It’s Be Yourself, and Be Perfect, Too,” by Sara Rimer. Wow, what these motivated public high schoolers have on their plates is incredible!
The article explains that since elementary school these girls have been fed conflicting messages: “Bring home A’s. Do everything.” But also: “Be yourself. Have fun.”
Oh… and you have to be hot too (of course!). “Effortlessly hot,” one of the girls adds.
These girls have been groomed to do the very best they possibly can. By nature and nurture they’re strivers. Still only teenagers, they already worry about making enough money to live decently. The principal of their high school says, “You almost have to be superhuman to resist the pressure.” So they spend their weekends working, they forgo boyfriends, they never just hang out. They worry, worry worry.
And these “amazing girls” feel inadequate. “You’re supposed to do all these things,” one of them says, “and not go insane.”
And what happens to these girls when they become mothers? They’ll still be strivers, working hard for those A’s, feeling guilty for taking care of their own needs. They’ll seek approval, and progress and evidence of their success. They’ll still feel inadequate! The stress they impose on themselves, and which society imposes on them, will simply continue.
Is there a way out?