Comments on: It’s a Big World Out There http://www.momstimeouts.com/2007/01/23/its-a-big-world-out-there It's Good to Be a Little Selfish—It Actually Makes You a Better Mother Thu, 09 Feb 2012 21:32:39 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.3.3 By: Emma http://www.momstimeouts.com/2007/01/23/its-a-big-world-out-there#comment-81 Emma Fri, 02 Feb 2007 14:56:36 +0000 http://www.momstimeouts.com/2007/01/23/its-a-big-world-out-there#comment-81 I do a lot of volunteering because its important to me. My kids learn something valuable and I feel good. The truth is, though, that I almost never do something for myself. I am run off my feet taking care of other people. Sometimes I wonder if this is what I was put on this earth for, and if my needs just don't really matter. I do a lot of volunteering because its important to me. My kids learn something valuable and I feel good. The truth is, though, that I almost never do something for myself. I am run off my feet taking care of other people. Sometimes I wonder if this is what I was put on this earth for, and if my needs just don’t really matter.

]]> By: Katrin http://www.momstimeouts.com/2007/01/23/its-a-big-world-out-there#comment-69 Katrin Thu, 25 Jan 2007 14:50:28 +0000 http://www.momstimeouts.com/2007/01/23/its-a-big-world-out-there#comment-69 Reading all your comments is so inspiring. For every opinion about mothering, another person has another opinion! And that's the way it's supposed to be; we are all different, we do and need and aspire to different things -- it's what makes the world interesting. My observation about moms sweating the small stuff is based on what I see among mothers with younger children. A focus on things that seem important at the time, but that once the kids are older (and the issues become correspondingly more challenging), reveal themselves to be small potatoes. How much time did I spend worrying about my children's clothes when they were little? Too much! And the truth of it was I didn't care about it so much for myself, but because of how I thought I would be perceived, as a mother, by other parents. So when I listen to an assembly like last week's, I wish I had known back then that my time could have been better spent reaching out to others than worrying about looks and appearances. Now that I have a teenager, I often feel as though I'm playing catch up in this area. I wish I taught writing in a prison, as I always wanted to... I wish I had put these things as a priority even when the kids were babies, so that it would now be a given that their parents model this kind of behavior. It's a mindset I would love to see them adopt as they mature -- whereas I could live without my daughter's panic attacks about the cut of her pants... or the spot on her t-shirt. I suppose that's inevitable though, right?! Reading all your comments is so inspiring. For every opinion about mothering, another person has another opinion! And that’s the way it’s supposed to be; we are all different, we do and need and aspire to different things — it’s what makes the world interesting.

My observation about moms sweating the small stuff is based on what I see among mothers with younger children. A focus on things that seem important at the time, but that once the kids are older (and the issues become correspondingly more challenging), reveal themselves to be small potatoes.

How much time did I spend worrying about my children’s clothes when they were little? Too much! And the truth of it was I didn’t care about it so much for myself, but because of how I thought I would be perceived, as a mother, by other parents.

So when I listen to an assembly like last week’s, I wish I had known back then that my time could have been better spent reaching out to others than worrying about looks and appearances. Now that I have a teenager, I often feel as though I’m playing catch up in this area.

I wish I taught writing in a prison, as I always wanted to… I wish I had put these things as a priority even when the kids were babies, so that it would now be a given that their parents model this kind of behavior. It’s a mindset I would love to see them adopt as they mature — whereas I could live without my daughter’s panic attacks about the cut of her pants… or the spot on her t-shirt. I suppose that’s inevitable though, right?!

]]> By: kevin http://www.momstimeouts.com/2007/01/23/its-a-big-world-out-there#comment-68 kevin Wed, 24 Jan 2007 23:04:51 +0000 http://www.momstimeouts.com/2007/01/23/its-a-big-world-out-there#comment-68 Kids can be cynics or creators. The big stuff is getting them to gravitate toward the latter. Plenty of tedium or pap is out there ready to soak their brains. We need to call out the real possibility to save the world. Creators can't help believe its possible. Mothers who cultivate hope make all the difference. Kids can be cynics or creators. The big stuff is getting them to gravitate toward the latter. Plenty of tedium or pap is out there ready to soak their brains. We need to call out the real possibility to save the world. Creators can’t help believe its possible. Mothers who cultivate hope make all the difference.

]]> By: Leslie http://www.momstimeouts.com/2007/01/23/its-a-big-world-out-there#comment-67 Leslie Wed, 24 Jan 2007 19:40:31 +0000 http://www.momstimeouts.com/2007/01/23/its-a-big-world-out-there#comment-67 What do you mean about moms worrying about the "small" stuff? Most of the moms that I know are really worried about the BIG stuff--their KIDS and meeting their social, emotional, and academic needs. There is certainly enough on Moms plates to worry about--real issues, with real kids. My hope is to raise independent, strong children and they'll be passionate about their ideas in the future. What do you mean about moms worrying about the “small” stuff? Most of the moms that I know are really worried about the BIG stuff–their KIDS and meeting their social, emotional, and academic needs. There is certainly enough on Moms plates to worry about–real issues, with real kids. My hope is to raise independent, strong children and they’ll be passionate about their ideas in the future.

]]> By: Sarah http://www.momstimeouts.com/2007/01/23/its-a-big-world-out-there#comment-66 Sarah Wed, 24 Jan 2007 13:26:23 +0000 http://www.momstimeouts.com/2007/01/23/its-a-big-world-out-there#comment-66 Everyone, even busy moms, could probably do more... I always have the intention of doing something worthwhile, something "big picture", with my 7 and 10 year olds, but I just can't squeeze it in. Then I worry about the message this sends to them. But at least I talk with them a lot about whats going on in the news, and about history. I want them to grow up understanding the world is complicated. Everyone, even busy moms, could probably do more… I always have the intention of doing something worthwhile, something “big picture”, with my 7 and 10 year olds, but I just can’t squeeze it in. Then I worry about the message this sends to them. But at least I talk with them a lot about whats going on in the news, and about history. I want them to grow up understanding the world is complicated.

]]> By: Joni http://www.momstimeouts.com/2007/01/23/its-a-big-world-out-there#comment-65 Joni Wed, 24 Jan 2007 12:12:21 +0000 http://www.momstimeouts.com/2007/01/23/its-a-big-world-out-there#comment-65 We all do what we can! But I can see when you look at past generations that many lives were more geared toward helping others, and families were less wrapped up in their own issues. Maybe that's only how we perceive it now that we have this crazy war raging on and people grouch and complain... but where are the rallies! Where are the huge protests like there were in the 60's and 70's? As far as the next generation is concerned, I've heard the younger generation is much MORE moved by environmental issues or wealth distribution than we are. There's definitely hope! We all do what we can! But I can see when you look at past generations that many lives were more geared toward helping others, and families were less wrapped up in their own issues. Maybe that’s only how we perceive it now that we have this crazy war raging on and people grouch and complain… but where are the rallies! Where are the huge protests like there were in the 60’s and 70’s? As far as the next generation is concerned, I’ve heard the younger generation is much MORE moved by environmental issues or wealth distribution than we are. There’s definitely hope!

]]> By: denise http://www.momstimeouts.com/2007/01/23/its-a-big-world-out-there#comment-64 denise Wed, 24 Jan 2007 11:52:38 +0000 http://www.momstimeouts.com/2007/01/23/its-a-big-world-out-there#comment-64 I get tired of the media telling us we're apathetic. I do community service and I always try to involve my kids. I get tired of the media telling us we’re apathetic. I do community service and I always try to involve my kids.

]]> By: Melissa http://www.momstimeouts.com/2007/01/23/its-a-big-world-out-there#comment-63 Melissa Wed, 24 Jan 2007 11:47:57 +0000 http://www.momstimeouts.com/2007/01/23/its-a-big-world-out-there#comment-63 Our world is different now -- our war is one about terrorism. Maybe deep down we do want to shelter them a bit, it's more abstract and even hard for us as parents to understand. The world has changed. We lead by example, good for you for crying in the assembly--that's what our job is to show how important these things really are. Plus a good cry about something in the bigger picture always feels so good. Our world is different now — our war is one about terrorism. Maybe deep down we do want to shelter them a bit, it’s more abstract and even hard for us as parents to understand. The world has changed. We lead by example, good for you for crying in the assembly–that’s what our job is to show how important these things really are. Plus a good cry about something in the bigger picture always feels so good.

]]> By: Mary http://www.momstimeouts.com/2007/01/23/its-a-big-world-out-there#comment-62 Mary Wed, 24 Jan 2007 02:22:18 +0000 http://www.momstimeouts.com/2007/01/23/its-a-big-world-out-there#comment-62 Yes, but we need to appreciate the baby steps. My 6 year old came home the other day and said "when is the celebration?" And, I looked at him with a blank stare and said, "celebration..?" And, he said, "You know mom, the one about Martin Luther King! When is the party?" No sooner did my 6 year old gather the family and announced the party. He turned on the stereo and we all started dancing -- and it hit me - what he was trying to express was the "big picture" and very literally we needed to celebrate what this man had done! Yes, but we need to appreciate the baby steps. My 6 year old came home the other day and said “when is the celebration?” And, I looked at him with a blank stare and said, “celebration..?” And, he said, “You know mom, the one about Martin Luther King! When is the party?” No sooner did my 6 year old gather the family and announced the party. He turned on the stereo and we all started dancing — and it hit me - what he was trying to express was the “big picture” and very literally we needed to celebrate what this man had done!

]]> By: Kim http://www.momstimeouts.com/2007/01/23/its-a-big-world-out-there#comment-61 Kim Wed, 24 Jan 2007 00:59:43 +0000 http://www.momstimeouts.com/2007/01/23/its-a-big-world-out-there#comment-61 It does seems bit like we're the generation that's had it easy, so we're super focused on ourselves and our families rather than on others. And I think we're overprotective -- we'd never risk our kids having a difficult school experience just to make a broader political point. But can you blame us? I mean, our instinct is to protect our children, to make their lives easy. I guess, when you think about it, making their lives easy doesn't always give them the best tools for the leadership challenges they'll face as adults in the future. It does seems bit like we’re the generation that’s had it easy, so we’re super focused on ourselves and our families rather than on others. And I think we’re overprotective — we’d never risk our kids having a difficult school experience just to make a broader political point. But can you blame us? I mean, our instinct is to protect our children, to make their lives easy. I guess, when you think about it, making their lives easy doesn’t always give them the best tools for the leadership challenges they’ll face as adults in the future.

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