Mom dreaming of coffeehouse breakfasts
Why is it that people always seem to want what they can’t or don’t have? Is the grass always greener? Is this an affliction that happens mostly to mothers, whose lives are basically out of their own control 90% of the time?
The kind of thing that makes me dream of an alternate existence — one where mornings are not spent feverishly making waffles and finding homework and driving around suburbia late for middle school — is the article in the style section of the New York Times today. It talks about trendy twenty-somethings who meet daily at Italian coffeehouses in New York (that’s opposed to Starbucks, which is not cool) drinking creamy cappuchinos, chatting and making connections with fellow ‘aristes’ and designers and other hip folk and then sauntering off to work around 11am.
Most days I am very content with my set up… and don’t get me wrong, I love my family… but when I read something like that I am reminded so starkly of the alternate lives that are out there, that I could be living. But then, I’ll read about backpackers in Nepal and day dream about sleeping in scuzzy hotels and meeting crazy itinerants. There is no one other life I wish I had. I just wish I could have a bit of everything. Making choices can be hard. It would be nice to know if reincarnation really existed. One life is not enough for all that is out there to be experienced!
Tags: BUddha
January 9th, 2007 at 7:10 pm
I think we can work harder at reincarnating ourselves by taking more risks and leaving our families to do something we really want to do. We just need more motivation and inspiration. I would love to hear more stories from moms who have gone on an outward bound trip, or taken a week to visit a 3rd world country, or taken a short course on a topic they are really interested in. Maybe their stories will motivate me to get out of my world and do something really unique and life changing.
January 10th, 2007 at 5:44 pm
Yes, we need motivation and inspiration! Making the time is really only part of the hurdle. If you want something badly enough, you can make it happen. Sometimes, moms don’t really know what they want anymore. They’re so busy caring about other people’s happiness that they forget what would really make them happy.
January 15th, 2007 at 1:53 pm
I think the grass is always greener somewhere else. It’s part of human nature to want what you can’t have. Not one of my friends is totally happy with their lives. Is any human being ever totally happy? Maybe it is more about our expectations than about reality. If we weren’t all so spoiled, I think we would stand a chance at being happy in our day to day lives.
January 17th, 2007 at 6:04 pm
You’re not living in the present when you worry about your neighbor. You’re not even living. Once you can truly focus on ONLY the positives of your life, you stop worrying and caring who has what. It doesn’t seem to matter. It’s really all about the power of the mind to create a happy existence. To do this, you can never allow thoughts of competition, negativity or jealousy to enter your mind. Everyone can do this — you just have to unlearn a lifelong ugly habit of focusing on what you don’t have. And I also believe that your dreams of happiness come to you when you focus on them as opposed to wondering why everyone else seems to have it easier. Like attracts like. When you are positive, happy people are drawn to you. When you are a gossip — guess what? You’re surrounded by gossips. So once you determine who and what brings out the best in you, practice willful thinking. It works.
January 19th, 2007 at 10:16 am
My mantra is balance. I think too much of anything can throw you off and prohibit you from staying grounded. I work really hard to keep myself in balance and I guide my family in this same direction. My kids do not have to be the best athlete, student, musician, etc. I just encourage them to feel confident and secure in their choices. Enjoy what you do and make the best of those things you like less. Have low expectations in life!
January 22nd, 2007 at 6:15 am
I don’t think we necessarily want to have low expectations, the point is to try and focus on appreciating what we have and enjoying it, but we still need to believe in ourselves and try and fulfil our potential. The art is probably to avoid thinking that your potential is lower than someone else’s because you have achieved less material wealth. I visited a friend who has just bought and done up a new (very expensive)house recently. I was very impressed: fantastic place! The first thing he did when I told him that was to take me out into the back garden and make me look over the wall. Pointing at the house at the end of the garden on the other side he said “yes, this is nice, but the really good ones are the ones on that side”. I nearly cried with pity.